Oscar host Chris Rock declared, in the big, wet-kissy New York Times piece on his long-hoped-for gig, “I am rooting for Jamie [Foxx], and if he doesn’t win…I’ll take an Oscar from one of the sound or light people that win and give it to him.”
Loyalty to his peeps notwithstanding, Mr. Rock’s promise/threat reminds me that every year these awards events, and the goings-on that surround them, continue to scale new, unimaginable heights of celebrity sycophancy.
Of course he’s funny, let’s give him that. And we won’t even take on the propriety of an event host proselytizing about his choice for an awardee before balloting is complete. But I can’t help but feel annoyed for the sound and lighting guys (and if you’re in the event business, you know that the sound and lighting guys make the party). Their awards are voted on and bestowed by a much smaller and more informed member list than the “major” Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences prizes, and will eventually get shunted off-air, I imagine.
That said, I’m a realist. I get that actor and actress tuchuses must be kissed. But from a business standpoint, it seems the pendulum is scraping the ground on the side of deference to “talent,” and as a result, these award phantasmagorias are no longer cost-effective ways for smart marketers to brand and send their message.
That’s why I think the smartest Oscar player this year is In Style, who opted out of co-hosting their annual bash with Elton John and his AIDS charity. (Disclosure: Many moons ago I helped draft the original terms of that unholy alliance.) It’s just not worth the spiraling cost and aggravation for what you get in return. But if celebrity-sycophancy heights must be scaled, and since big money is still being shoveled into this gaping maw, shan’t we have a bit of fun with it?
Herewith, my Statuette Season Event Hall of Fame:
Best Turning of the Other Cheek Award:
Young lovers Mischa Barton and Brandon Davis brought their dirty laundry to one of the post-Golden Globe bashes, shocking fellow partygoers with a loud argument culminating with Mr. Davis getting his face slapped. But they made up and got gift bags together on the way out.
Most Original Use of Celebrityhood to be an Event Planner's Nightmare:
Not content with making millions from his middle-of-the-road, wannabe sexy album (Earth to Usher: keep the shirt on, the pecs are not what you think they are), pop’s biggest poseur now insists that all red carpets be cleared before making his pirouette.
Best Performance for Not Getting Asked Back:
Dum-dum brunette Nicky Hilton left In Style’s Golden Globes soiree and complained, on the record, about the heat inside to the host’s indirect competitor, Us Weekly.
Best Impersonation of a Celebrity:
The competition for this year’s honor was thick, with the likes of dark-rooted road menace Lizzie Grubman, The Bachelorette’s apparently unmarryable repeat performer Jen Schefft, and a wide-variety of shameless reality television types all vying for the prize. But of course the winner has to be that William Hung guy who used Golden Globes week as a platform to announce his expansion into acting. (Can somebody send me his album? I’m dying to hear it.)
Best Dancer (on Volcano Lip):
Who can forget Tina Brown’s amazing tap dance at her glamorous Globes Mondrian fete on the eve of Talk magazine’s demise?
The Life Imitates Art Special Achievement Honor:
Those gangstas at the Vibe awards want you to know they don’t just rap the rap. Evidently the hip-hop scene’s image was getting kinda soft, so artists livened up the UPN telecast with an on-air stabbing involving Dr. Dre just as he was to go onstage to receive his much-deserved lifetime achievement award. Ensuing mayhem included pepper spray, thrown chairs, and fleeing talent. Despite headliner Alicia Keys’ wise departure, the show went on, sort of. The Vibe Web site refers to the melee as a “disruption.” See ya next year!
Posted 02.23.05
Columnist Ted Kruckel is an experienced and opinionated former event and PR pro who ran events for 20 years for high-profile clients like Vanity Fair, Elle Decor, Christian Dior and Carolina Herrera. He shuttered his firm, Ted Inc., in 2003. You can email him at [email protected].
Loyalty to his peeps notwithstanding, Mr. Rock’s promise/threat reminds me that every year these awards events, and the goings-on that surround them, continue to scale new, unimaginable heights of celebrity sycophancy.
Of course he’s funny, let’s give him that. And we won’t even take on the propriety of an event host proselytizing about his choice for an awardee before balloting is complete. But I can’t help but feel annoyed for the sound and lighting guys (and if you’re in the event business, you know that the sound and lighting guys make the party). Their awards are voted on and bestowed by a much smaller and more informed member list than the “major” Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences prizes, and will eventually get shunted off-air, I imagine.
That said, I’m a realist. I get that actor and actress tuchuses must be kissed. But from a business standpoint, it seems the pendulum is scraping the ground on the side of deference to “talent,” and as a result, these award phantasmagorias are no longer cost-effective ways for smart marketers to brand and send their message.
That’s why I think the smartest Oscar player this year is In Style, who opted out of co-hosting their annual bash with Elton John and his AIDS charity. (Disclosure: Many moons ago I helped draft the original terms of that unholy alliance.) It’s just not worth the spiraling cost and aggravation for what you get in return. But if celebrity-sycophancy heights must be scaled, and since big money is still being shoveled into this gaping maw, shan’t we have a bit of fun with it?
Herewith, my Statuette Season Event Hall of Fame:
Best Turning of the Other Cheek Award:
Young lovers Mischa Barton and Brandon Davis brought their dirty laundry to one of the post-Golden Globe bashes, shocking fellow partygoers with a loud argument culminating with Mr. Davis getting his face slapped. But they made up and got gift bags together on the way out.
Most Original Use of Celebrityhood to be an Event Planner's Nightmare:
Not content with making millions from his middle-of-the-road, wannabe sexy album (Earth to Usher: keep the shirt on, the pecs are not what you think they are), pop’s biggest poseur now insists that all red carpets be cleared before making his pirouette.
Best Performance for Not Getting Asked Back:
Dum-dum brunette Nicky Hilton left In Style’s Golden Globes soiree and complained, on the record, about the heat inside to the host’s indirect competitor, Us Weekly.
Best Impersonation of a Celebrity:
The competition for this year’s honor was thick, with the likes of dark-rooted road menace Lizzie Grubman, The Bachelorette’s apparently unmarryable repeat performer Jen Schefft, and a wide-variety of shameless reality television types all vying for the prize. But of course the winner has to be that William Hung guy who used Golden Globes week as a platform to announce his expansion into acting. (Can somebody send me his album? I’m dying to hear it.)
Best Dancer (on Volcano Lip):
Who can forget Tina Brown’s amazing tap dance at her glamorous Globes Mondrian fete on the eve of Talk magazine’s demise?
The Life Imitates Art Special Achievement Honor:
Those gangstas at the Vibe awards want you to know they don’t just rap the rap. Evidently the hip-hop scene’s image was getting kinda soft, so artists livened up the UPN telecast with an on-air stabbing involving Dr. Dre just as he was to go onstage to receive his much-deserved lifetime achievement award. Ensuing mayhem included pepper spray, thrown chairs, and fleeing talent. Despite headliner Alicia Keys’ wise departure, the show went on, sort of. The Vibe Web site refers to the melee as a “disruption.” See ya next year!
Posted 02.23.05
Columnist Ted Kruckel is an experienced and opinionated former event and PR pro who ran events for 20 years for high-profile clients like Vanity Fair, Elle Decor, Christian Dior and Carolina Herrera. He shuttered his firm, Ted Inc., in 2003. You can email him at [email protected].
