This year I decided to take a look at the holiday windows of Manhattan with a judgmental point of view, and since award season is right around the corner, why not give out awards? (Isn’t that what we do now: we start promoting the next season before the current one is even over?)
And 2012 is all about mannequins, by the way. So let’s start there.
It’s been decided, I think, that Bergdorf has nudged Barneys aside in the interest factor, which is not to say that the Madison Avenue emporium is slouchy.
But where Barneys had played out its celebrity papier-mache theme years ago (to this viewer the celebrity chefs windows was the nadir), Bergdorf Goodman visionary Linda Fargo and her team have settled into a real track, consistent from year to year in the slavish devotion to detail.
This year, it’s kind of A Night at the Opera meets The Shining. Mommy’s kissing Santa Claus but left her jeweled bag open for anyone to see. A catfight has broken out in another window, could it be shades of Paula Broadwell and Jill Kelly?
On Fifth Avenue and 43rd Street one is dumbstruck by two giant white shapes, crammed too close to the glass. The text helpfully explains these are the "Great Bear at its Most Magnificent." Oh, it's Art. That explains why this makes no sense. The bears are 12 feet tall and difficult to discern because they are too big for the window.
But wait to walk to the tiniest corner—you can see that they have black hollowed-out tummies with little crystals on wires, which maybe would be interesting if they were lit at all.
Back home I went to the Web to watch an explanatory video with Fresh Joe himself. Watch and see if the video makes you more—or like me, even less—interested.
Oh dear: Saks has tried the kitchen-sink approach with kind of disastrous results on the one hand, but how can you knock little girl mannequins playing with kaleidoscopes in the snow?
Here, our Miss American Girl Style (wait, aren't they up the block?) encounters a magical kaleidoscope camera (one check for kid theme) that takes your picture (check two for interactive) and pixilates your image, "kaleidoscope style," on down the line so that you really get the idea after a while.
But there are a bunch more checks on the list, like this confusing conflation of the kaleidoscope thing with this furry and fun book (sold exclusively at the store) about Yeti, who I think is a snowman. He is cute, right?
They must have been thinking: "But wait, we've used up half our windows and we haven't put any fashion in them! Isn't that show Gossip Girl what they all watch these days? Let's get some ridiculously young-looking mannequins and pose them in extraordinary, decadent opulence. Won't people really be into that?"
This will seem meaner than it is, but obviously these Ann Taylor merchandisers are watching the expense line very carefully. But doesn't that kind of accurately portray a brand of cost/value? And the colors are really nice. I think I could do this at home next year.
Go luxe or stay home: that's the Fendi way, isn't it? So why not just take an expensive belt and "Cinch it"? (Anyone besides me remember the Saturday Night Live Gap girls?) Truth be told, up close during the day this is just a bunch of ugly wires, and there's really nothing so clever going on here. But for sheer enormity of cost appearance, we bestow this honor.
Ice, ice, baby. Think cool greys and blues, not flashy, showy diamonds like those Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The look continues and wraps around the whole building, but it is the façade that really sings. It's the perfect combination of tradition and flash.
When in doubt, take a standard holiday item like a candy cane or a Christmas bulb and put it on display. Here Gucci kept it simple with giant matte gold snap-on bows, which read instantly while taxiing down Fifth Avenue; a number of these windows really miss the boat on that feature.
It's big and dangerous-looking and has nothing to do with Christmas, but who cares? I assume it's a necklace look of some kind, but this is one that is no good up close; the lights are too bright.
Taking a step back from the creative and fiscal cliff after last year's disastrous carnival theme window build-outs, Tiffany's stuck to their knitting, which is beautiful diamonds exquisitely presented in miniature. With the honking 128-carat Tiffany Diamond in the house on the main floor, my associate Jennifer liked this stairway ...
... but I preferred the sneak peek into the Christmas-tree room. It captures that thrilling morning of kids and presents, which is the apogee of the whole Christmas drag. I mean after those first few minutes, it's all downhill for another 365 days.
But merry, merry to all, and to all a good night!
