Working in the event industry, it's easy to feel like there aren't enough hours in a day. Add in a role as a parent or caregiver, and it's all too common to feel like you're not giving enough to either role.
Give yourself some grace, says Tahira Endean, the Vancouver-based head of programme for IMEX. In this line of work, she says, "There is a balance of amazing experiences we can offer our families (whatever family means to you) while working hard to deliver experiences for many. We can integrate our work and parent selves to find a space that works for us and our people."
After all, you may even find that success in one role leads to success in the other. Caryl Silberstein, CEO of Redstone Agency in Toronto, found that being an event planner before becoming a mom taught her a few key skills, including ways to juggle multiple priorities and competing timelines—and to prepare to be unprepared. In both roles, she says, "There will always be a fire to put out; it’s all about how you respond and move forward. We can plan and plan and plan, but reality will be what it will be."
In honor of Mother's Day, BizBash chatted with a group of top event professionals—who also happen to be mothers—about how they balance the load. Here are their biggest pieces of advice.
1. Look for jobs and clients that align with your priorities.
“Take on clients that easily flow into the rhythm of your life," suggests Janice Torres, a creative producer and the founder of The Brand Phoenix in New York. "Clients should respect that you're a family-first person, trust you to still get the job done, and not overstep your boundaries."
Elyse Boule, event producer for In the Event Corporation in Denver, advises aspiring event profs to think through the types of events that would best align with their personal priorities. "For example, a career in wedding planning is not ideal if you value weekend time with your family. Likewise, virtual events might be a great choice for you if you do not want to travel," she explains. "A career in events comes in all shapes and sizes, so find the one that is the best fit for your family's needs."
2. Ask for help.
“It really does take a village (even if you are happily married), so find your village as quickly as you can," says Cindy Y. Lo, CEO and chief event strategist for Red Velvet in Austin. "I am so grateful to my village. No one can do it all, and we are our toughest critics."
Above all, don't be embarrassed to ask for help. “I started my business in 2014 when my daughter, Phoenix Mia, turned six months old. As an infant, I had a moment where she wouldn't bottle feed, and I had to travel with her to another state to produce a VIP party with a rock icon for his TV special," Torres remembers. "The women of that network's marketing team were so kind, and even held her while I worked. ... You need a strong and understanding support system that you can trust to watch your children during those late events or galas.”
3. Let your kids get involved!
Remember that this career field might also expose your kids to some unique opportunities. “[My kids] got to see the world and lots of events with me at a very young age, and they appreciate events and marketing way more than the normal teenager today—which is honestly a source of pride for me," says Lo.
Torres advises letting children see certain aspects of your work—and even help out. "Give them kid-friendly tasks to build skills, confidence, and social skills. My daughter recently attended an event for food sovereignty at NYU. She helped me check in guests and style our installation. She left the event glowing with pride," she remembers.
4. Lean into those organizational skills.
Chelsea Wilson, founder and CEO of 3CS in San Diego, notes many of the skill sets she's developed in events translate to her home life and vice versa. "Strong time management skills allow me to manage my calendar, and the kids' calendar, and prioritize my day properly," she explains. "Treating people the right way and being patient with them—whether it be coworkers, vendors, or clients—sets a standard of respect, and I’m hopeful that my children will learn the importance of respect and patience from me.”
Michelle Thornton, a Los Angeles-based independent event producer and leadership support professional, agrees. “The juggling act is real! [It's about] understanding that expectations do not always equal reality, and you have to allow flow to happen because overscheduling doesn’t make anyone happy," she says, adding: "Communication is key—with your stakeholders, your colleagues, and even those little people you created."
5. Don’t compare yourself to others.
“Balance is a very personal thing and means different things to each person, so do not compare yourself to the next mom," adds Lo. "Mom guilt is real, and the best thing is knowing that I did my best for my family and my career, which equals my happiness as a human. The balance discussion should be between you and your partner, or you and your child(ren) if you are raising them solo.”
6. Leave time for self-care.
"Us event pros can get addicted to our emails and project plans. The adrenaline and anxiety can consume you. Grounding is key," notes Torres, who likes to spend time outdoors birdwatching, rock collecting, or exploring the nature reserve near her home. Endean agrees: “I believe in the importance of going to the spa," she says. "For others, their 'spa' may be a walk in nature or a great ski run, or even 20 minutes in the bathtub with the door locked. Find what you need, even for a few minutes a day or a week.”
Wilson, meanwhile, focuses on exercise as her preferred form of self-care. “Making time for yourself as a mom is not easy, but finding that time is a must for me—and that self-care allows me to be a better mom," she explains. "When I’m happier, that translates to everything else around me, with work and with kids.”
7. Learn when to shut off work for the day.
“Be mindful of how working too much can impact your relationship with your kid," points out Torres. "They notice if you are jailed to your phone, and subconsciously absorb your stress.”
Wilson also stresses the importance of clear boundaries. "When I’m working, I’m working—and when I’m being a mom, I’m being a mom. Giving 100% to whichever I’m doing allows me to stay focused, and being in the moment with the kids allows me to really enjoy being with them," she explains.
"The events world is filled with last-minute fire drills, so I’ve come to accept that I’m going to miss things," adds Wilson. Her advice to working moms? "[Don't] beat yourself up about missing things, and instead just enjoy when you are there—and prioritize what you need to in order to be successful in both worlds," she says. "Your kids will learn the importance of balancing things, and know that when mom is around, she’s 100% present.”
